Last Words From a Weekly Log
I wrote this on October 8, 2024, after thirteen weeks of weekly updates:
For an overthinker, thoughts are a double-edged weapon. They are my prison, the same way they are the key.
Overthinking has given me some good stuff, writing-wise, but has also brought me the saddest hardships. It almost sounds stupid, being beaten up for stuff you have brought yourself, having to fight against your own mind. It's, sadly, one of my daily, constant battles.
Sometimes, sporadically, I have thoughts that come from nowhere. They certainly aren't mine, that much I can tell. They could be from my Hormonesā¢ļø, we all know those bitches really well, or they could come from The Liarā¢ļø, a.k.a. š„ my mind. As you can see, my mind and I occupy different spaces in the vastness of my head. My mind, maybe like yours, is trying to lie to me and, just because of that, is my enemy.
More times than I would like, I have thoughts that are trying to drown and isolate me. And a few times, I have broken from the cycle and called for help with posts like these:
Most of the time, I have a thought* about what I'm seeing, and all the time, I'm fighting to share it.
If you see a comment of mine rolling around, that's the 2% probability of happeningāI may have had a big drive to say it.
— Lady Azulina (@ladyazulina.bsky.social) 5 de octubre de 2024, 11:23(Those are from this very week, btw.)
If I were to listen to my mind and let those thoughts stop me, I wouldn't be doing this to start with.
Weekly Quests Overview
- Monday: Rest.
- Tuesday: Review themed tasks.
- Wednesday: [REDACTED] adventureās final edit.
- Thursday: Backstage themed task and English homework.
- Friday: Friend's birthday's gift.
- Saturday: Playful themed task.
Monday
Quest of the Day: Rest.
If you remember last Sunday, I had a family day out. I got to confirm my outing through this note, even.
One of my uncles, from my dad's side, who has been living in Spain since I was very little (20+ years), came back for the first time.
Long story short, I was a HUGE fan of his love story. He met his ex-wife through internet, they got together, got married, had kids, and lived all their life together in Spain. To me, it was The Dreamā¢ļø. But they got separated recently and though it was A Blowā¢ļø to me, I'm still certain with my partner. I know everyone lives their own story, but they were my role model for the longest time and what I looked at through my first long-distance relationship.
So, he wanted to see the family.
They are very noisy, so I have been rejecting every family reunion invitation, but I didn't believe I could bail from this one. Honestly, I regret it, but it already happened.
I endured a lot of noise, entertaining myself with the billiard for half of it and hoping to be able to get farther away the other half.
Actually, I didnāt remember any of this until I went back to my weekly blog posts folder and saw the upper one called ā???ā.
I canāt tell you if I got to accomplish the quest of that Monday, or if I got to accomplish any of the quests of the weekāitās a long time ago already. Too much has happened since then.
For some reason, though, after reading those words about those two completely different topics, I thought, āI should still release thisā. Thatās what Iām doing. And why.
I got to constantly keep a weekly blog for thirteen weeks, thatās a record. It was on Substack, though, but maybe I can bring them back here sometime later. Time will tell.
Or maybe you will tell me.